InspirEmail No 292 - June 2015 - How do I deal with tough times


Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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InspirEmail No 292 - June 2015 - How do I deal with tough times?
'Inspirational messages to refresh the spirit and boost the emotional bank account'

How do I deal with tough times?

Last month I gave a speech on Self Care at a conference. At the end of the speech, a lady came up to me for a conversation. She was facing a few challenges in her life. At the end of the conversation, I gave her my card and contact details and asked her to reach out whenever she needed support. About two weeks later, she sent me an email with just one line . . . 'How do you manage to stay positive Ron?'

Now, to set the record straight, I told her that I am not always 'positive'. Just like everyone else or most people, I have my ups and downs. It's the way that I deal with my ups and downs is what she probably perceived as being positive all the time.

Later that day, I gave her a call, and we had an in-depth conversation. She asked me 'How do I deal with tough times?'

Here is my response to her:

1.  Eliminate blame - at the best of times, we can slip into the mentality of playing the blame game. In a previous article, I quoted the legendary Bob Proctor, who said 'No one wins the blame game'. You should not blame anyone for anything. Yes, at times, people can do the wrong thing by you. Yet, you cannot control their behaviour and intentions. Focus on what you can control. Another important point is to remember is this - eliminate self blame. Sometimes we are so worked up that we blame ourselves. Self blame is very toxic. It creates toxic emotions, and puts you in a very disempowering mindset. Instead of blaming, shift your focus on productive actions!

2.  Self analysis - do a thorough self analysis. If you want to turn things around, and get positive outcomes, then you have to take a good look at your values and behaviours, and your interactions with other people. Ask 'Am I doing what I am supposed to do to change my situation?' What responsibility are you taking for being in the situation that you are in right now? What responsibility will you take for taking productive action, and making positive changes in your life? Also, make a list of your skills, talents, and abilities on a daily basis. This will remind you of what you are capable of, and help you in creating and maintaining an empowering mindset.

3.  Self acceptance - instead of fighting your current situation, accept it! Be accepting of it (as it is) and create an awareness which tells you that you will turn things around for the better. Acceptance can put you in a peaceful emotional and mental state. Empowerment will not come before acceptance. Remember - what you resist will persist, and what you accept will empower!

4.  Reach out - there are, and will be people out there (or in your life) who will be willing to support you. Reach out for support. It is said that climbing a mountain with others is a good option because you can support each other, and you get to share the view with them. Talk to people who will listen to you with a judgement-free approach. If you feel like getting professional help, by all means do so.

5.  Guaranteed Daily Achievements - when I provide staff training in the corporate world, I often talk about Guaranteed Daily Achievements (tasks that you set about doing, and will complete by the end of the day (all else being equal)). They are like mini goals that you set for each day. It is important to have guaranteed daily achievements because they will help you to feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Please remember, success builds on success. Your success with guaranteed daily achievements can automatically elevate your self esteem, and make you more productive. Then you will be in a better frame/space to set bigger goals.

6.  Repeat 'This too shall pass' - a temporary setback is not a permanent failure. Whatever you are going through will pass. Believe that, and persevere. See it as an exercise for character building. Also, see it as a time where the people who genuinely care about you will be separated from the ones who are only there for your good times. You will get to find out who your real friends are. As motivational speaker Eric Thomas said 'Where you are is just temporary. You won't be there for the rest of your life.'

7.  Help someone else in any capacity -as strange as this may sound, help someone else! Yes, I realise that you might be thinking 'Ron, I am going through a tough time myself. And, you are asking me to help others?'. The point here is this - if you help someone else, you will be subconsciously telling yourself that you are capable and giving. That will build your self image. Giving and sharing also creates a sense of accomplishment. At some level in your mind, you will be telling yourself 'There are others who need me. So, my presence is important.' Now, that in itself is very empowering!

Quote: 'No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.' Anonymous

I hope that I have given you a few simple strategies to get through tough times, and look forward to a brighter future. Inspiring you towards your excellence.

Written by Ron Prasad
Author, Speaker, Life Coach and Executive Coach

Ron Prasad is the author of Welcome to Your Life - simple insights for your inspiration and empowerment. He is also an inspired speaker who empowers his audience with his enthusiasm and energy. Ron's articles have been read by thousands of people around the world. His passion is inspiring and fulfilling lives, and sharing his insights with people. He actively supports animal charities in many countries.

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